Felt like writing so thought I’d start with the subject lines on the emails awaiting my attention. Most of them are newsletters or variations of, so might be interesting…
The Gluten Free Club tells me I have less than 17 hours… I’m not sure if they mean to live, to enjoy life on this planet as I know it, or to pick up a freebie. I haven’t read any of these emails for quite some time and probably ought to unsub, but you never know when you’ll need a gluten free tip or recipe so I’ll hang on a little longer. Perhaps, I have 17 hours to actually start eating gluten-free food before everyone that’s not gluten free becomes dispossessed and on the streets, ragged and hungry.
How appropriate that the next subject line appears to be advising that the path to true happiness is to eat cakes and cookies. Not sure if gluten comes into it, but I would certainly enjoy a life of guilt-free gorging on the sweet stuff. I could have Steak and Cake for dinner with Cookies n’ salad on the side. Cookie Cake for dessert doesn’t sound half bad either. I will be the happiest person on the face of the planet!
Children’s Hook is up next and I’m not quite sure what to make of it. It’s from Martha Stewart so I presume it’s not anything too nefarious. A special hook by the front door next to keys and raincoats? I wouldn’t have to share the cake and cookies, making me even happier with my lot! Yes, I think I’ll go with that and move on.
Martha Stewart Crafts and Valentines Day projects. Sorry, buy my DH would prefer a night of rampant sex over crafts every time. Hang on a second, while I go invite him to make gift cards with me….
Oi! Oi! Oi! where was I?
Just refresh my screen and, oh yes, Does my underwear need an overhaul? Well, it does now and if I mentally rustle through my undy drawer I’m sure I could come up with some bras that need refreshing (and re-wiring). I’d really like some kind of petticoat or shift to wear under my see-through summer dresses as well. Wearing two layers, of course, will negate the need for light-weight dresses but at least passers-by won’t be alarmed at the state of my underwear.
Now, if I cheat a bit and scroll past, “Quick reminder of today’s deadline” and, “Never fight about money again!” (really, what’s to fight about – he earns it and I spend it) to “How healthy is your sex life?”. Let me just refer you back to subject number 4 above. The one about crafts. Apparently, the thought of making gift cards puts my DH into quite a spin. Must be all the ribbons, glitter and sequins I produced. Who needs healthy? I’ve got craft glue!
NB: the above is a semi-fictional article. I would never eat Steak and Cake. I’m a vegetarian!